My name is Karl, I am a zombie, I have been this way for around 3 months now.
My good friend Charles infected me.
I've come to tell you that it's really not so bad being undead, in fact, there are many benefits! For instance, we get constant exercise while hunting your brains. Another advantage to being dead is not having to worry about pricey doctors appointments and medical insurance; if your arm falls off? slap it back on! It's that easy!
I realize that the prospect of having your flesh chewed on by some fine dining zombies isn't the best out there, but we repay you with friendship and love once you turn into one of us! Unless your one of those weird guys that stay dead...
Lonely? We got you covered! Zombies travel in packs, which we call hoards, and everyone is friendly as we shout in union "BRAINS!"
So join me and my companions today in zombie brotherhood, after your ordeal into our group, which involves the removal and consumption of your tasty thinker organ, you'll never be alone again!
yours truly- Karrrrrrrrrrl
Hmmm...I guess if there were zombies this might be the kind of conversation one would have, trying to coerce democrats to joining the club by noting the benefits...conservatives would know better, nothing is free.
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